Thursday, October 09, 2008

Corporate & Consulting Jargon

At the outset, here goes two confessions - One, this post has come up as a result of a blog of a kid just out of his engineering college trying to settle into the shoes of a would be manager in the first few weeks of his new b-school. He's learnt two of most common jargon used in corporate more so in the consulting industry today. Second, consulting industry respects firms & individuals who can simply "add value" to simple things to provide a strategic direction and draw top management attention. Bamboozled...? Keep trying not to?
Coming to the two most commonly used ones - " We are taking a look at it" & " We will get back to you" - strictly speaking in most cases this would be the response to the person who has raised a question and if you dont even know what it is leave alone the answer to the question! Wannabe MBAs learn this the first from their seniors when they submit their carefully crafted assignments & hope for a good feedback from seniors! There is ofcourse a presumption here that seniors will look at it and let them know! Seniors always are in the "looking at it " "will get back" mode!
Now, for some consulting "value -add" to these! In the very first place what is value-add! Much bandied about but no one realizes unless they call consultants themselves who can make them realize! The consulting version of "will get back" is now "circle back" or "touch base"! Maybe because "getting back" sounds too lowly or prudish!
To get an initial overview has become "to take a first stab"! Interactions between two persons/processes/systems have become "touch-points"! Providing a maintenance guideline has changed to providing a "sustainability framework"! And to think of it, I have not gone towards bandying of words like alignment, strategic intent, perspective (to my knowledge the most commonly (ab!)used words"! Financial modelling is now equated with just basic revenue / cash flow projections!
I am still learning! People who are trying to welcome to the club! You can see for yourself the effect such "versions of truth!!!" have on people at large! Otherwise how will they dole out their largesse to us in form of fees! We provide them "value" with some solid creativity spiced up with an impressive verbage like "we will split the hair into two for our analysis" (meaning we will get into bare details)...they provide us the moolah! you give some, you take some.. Game of quid pro quo!