This post - as the title would suggest - comes after attending one of my old and very special friend's wedding. That she has been more like a sister to me all these years goes unsaid.
Dutifully therefore, I was informed way back in november about this with strict instructions to be there else...Fact of the matter was, there was no option of an else...However, as circumstances would pan out, till about 4/5 days before the actual wedding my trip to calcutta was not confirmed. In the interim, again the same instructions were repeated this time even more threatening!!!
The feeling of happiness (when you understand the importance someone attaches to you) and dissappointment of not being sure of keeping up to that is never a good quagmire to be in...
Nevertheless, somehow I could ensure my presence at the end - albeit for a very small amount of time. I guess sisters are the best in the world because they are able to accept a lot of things even if they are undesirable and so I am sure my quick exit would be forgiven...
Certain instances which left an impression on me during the 2 days that I was there form the reason per se of this post. And adding the usual disclaimer, these are my own realizations from what I saw today and in the past....
First, the bride is typically unaware of the expectations and social protocol. Its like "am I supposed to speak to all the guests who have come" or "am I supposed to do this"? So when a similar question was directed towards me, I answered in the affirmative. It was then realization dawned, that this is something she must have hardly done before (being the kid in the family) and not only that, going forward, she has to don this mantle not only at her parents' place but also with her new family. There would be many social courtesies and protocols that would follow post the marriage as well!!! The single phrase that I could attribute to this was that it would be a "giant leap of faith"
Second, during the wedding, so many (and I mean it..there were so many!) wished her and I saw, that she was already learning the ropes of being cordial and warm with them. Poor thing, there were so many whom she could'nt recognize in the first place! Yet another realization for me as to how you should know people even when you dont know/recognize them!
Third, when she signed on the dotted line (literally I mean!) assuming her new name - I was curious as to how it felt when you literally change your identity. An identity with which you have been associated for all your life... By her own submission, it was weird signing a new name! This is something I have pondered and discussed with a number of female friends of mine and most of them ended up saying they did not like it in the first place but accepted / got used to later...But there are still a few who refuse to attach their identity to their husband's! In any case (whether you assume a different identity or not), you face hurdles...The realization for me was, that a girl when she enters a new home has to not only don a new role but create a new identity for her as well irrespective of the change in the name...How well she's able to do it is what matters!
Marriage as they say is not a ceremony or an event but is an institution! Before she enters, she is absolutely care-free and the kid in the family! As she enters, she starts learning the ropes and as years go by, she learns the demands of the role that demands her to juggle attention between multiple families, not to mention her own professional career.
Before ending this, here's wishing the new couple all the very best and lots and lots of happiness in their forthcoming conjugal life! And I take this opportunity to apologize to my friend of not being present in her wedding completely! and a big thank you to her as well for literally forcing me to take this holiday...by virtue of which I could catch up with my own family and old friends...
Cheers to all the sisters in this world!
